"We'll never be as young as we are right now." --Jim Steinman

Friday, August 12, 2005

I'm not fine

I went to Victim's house yesterday. Her mom picked me up and then we went to the store to get stuff for dinner. Victim and I were standing in the produce department looking at peppers when I turned around. What I saw was a tall guy wearing black pants, a poofy jacket that read "Copps IGA", and who had on a black headset. He was facing the other direction and walking with another guy.
My mind was quickly taken off the sight of the stranger by Victim squeaking a bag to make farting noises. By the time I turned back around he had been gone. She and I then headed over to the lunch meat section and proceeded to make fun of a package that said "Contains 30 wieners." I started singing a song, so we both started dancing crazily. The tall, dark haired stranger walked up to us and started dancing as well. Nothing was said, but after a few moments he turned and walked through the stock room doors.
Victim and I were then looking at packages of coke when he again approached us. We talked for a few minutes about nothing. Actually, he and myself conversed about his plans for this afternoon while Victim laughed like a loon. We then let him proceed with his work while we went to check out. He again, turned the corner and waved and Victim asked if he was stalking us.
Any guess to whom this stranger happens to be?
He is the guy that I talked to online last night for over an hour.
He is the guy I thought about all day after I saw him.
He is the guy I cried myself to sleep over last night.
He is the guy who has plagued my dreams since he asked to be friends.
But he is mainly the guy who I still care for.

I can't help but wonder if T&S loves the same things about him I do. I kept thinking about all the little things I've loved him for. When he drives he fingers the guitar tabs to whatever song happens to be blasting out the speakers. When he kissed me he couldn't keep his hands still; he could never decide to keep them on my waist or higher on my back. He whispers the lyrics to songs if people are present, but if he's alone he bellows them out--unless of course what he's listening to is The Darkness 'cause then he screeches out the lines and laughs at the dirty parts.
Those were just a few things I dreamt about last night. I just hope that T&S also sees these little things and can love him like I do.

Somehow Victim believes that when we have our ten year high school reunion I'm going to show up and be Mrs. Man-pretty. That's a long way off and a far-fetched dream.

"Run" by Snow Patrol
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up...
Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
I love Snow Patrol's songs because they are like poetry. Even the way they sound on the CDs they sound like poems and not music. Plus they're lyrics are meaningful to me--not just this song but all of them.

1 comment:

le penseur said...

Since I have been slacking in my blog reading, I'll make up for it.

I can say that as an older guy, compared to high schoolers, (but being older than Man-Pretty, apparently), I feel kind of strange giving out advice, especially since I haven't done a whole lot and much of it didn't come by experience, but rather a lack of experience. Still, I guess that older people like to help out when they can, and point out some pitfalls or troubles that may be ahead. It's ok if he's right. Perhaps it's for the best.

Oh, and that fellow seems really strange. But hey, to each his own, right? And I also love how songs express much emotion and can convey our thoughts when we can't do it ourselves. Good selection.