Ok, those of you who don't know me, or just don't know, I'm a big P!nk fan. Yeah, I really shouldn't have written that in blue...
Anyway, I'm going to follow in BB's footsteps & post some lyrics! Yay, aren't you excited?
She looks to the sun
Help her to carry on
Breaking down all the years
Wondering how she got here
She drifts through the sky
Counting the reasons why
How my life turned so fast
Remembering all of the past
All the changes, and all the mistakes
Foolishly laughing at things that
Words that she says
She looks to the stars
Breaking, time to follow the heart
Her world is falling apart
And the turning of every new page
A book on a shelf that is there to remain
Breaking the walls as she's tearing them down
As she is starting to drown
She's waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting for love
Waiting, waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting so long
She prays to the Gods
Telling how she needs someone
Help me find where I am today
Life is looking very grey
All the changes, all the mistakes
Foolishly laughing at things that
Everything that she says
She's waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting for love
Waiting, waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting so long
I'm waiting for a new day to rise
Conversations to make sense to me and my mind
I need someone to lift me right off of my feet
And I want it, and I need it, and I'll leave it all behind
And all the changes I've made
And I remember the words, that you'll never say
She's waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting for love
Waiting, waiting for love
She's waiting, waiting so long
She looks to the sun
Crap, now I'm going to be sad all night. Why did I have to listen to that CD?
Sunday, February 27, 2005
A little creepy
I've been sick for about the past week...which sucks majorly. I swear my body's making noises it shouldn't be. That sounds gross. I appologize.
I've been talking to this guy on the internet. I've never really been hit on before, but he's givin' it all he has. He told me he thinks I would look good in tights. He's really nice though. I mean, I've never really gotten compliments like that...even if he's never seen me.
I wish Man-pretty was online though. I have to make a reference to my newspaper clipping ;)!
He's a sexy bitch.
Okay, so that's not why I like him though. I like talking with him. People always say they like talking TO someone. I hate it. I'd rather talk WITH someone. Okay, am I the only one who sees a difference?
I don't think I'm making much sense. All this cold medication must seriously be getting to me.
I've been talking to this guy on the internet. I've never really been hit on before, but he's givin' it all he has. He told me he thinks I would look good in tights. He's really nice though. I mean, I've never really gotten compliments like that...even if he's never seen me.
I wish Man-pretty was online though. I have to make a reference to my newspaper clipping ;)!
He's a sexy bitch.
Okay, so that's not why I like him though. I like talking with him. People always say they like talking TO someone. I hate it. I'd rather talk WITH someone. Okay, am I the only one who sees a difference?
I don't think I'm making much sense. All this cold medication must seriously be getting to me.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Not going to Prom
I was planning on going to Prom with Pink Piggy and maybe Mrarenisco. I mean, yeah, we're only Freshmen, but in our school everyone's invited to go. My mom had no problem about me going a couple of weeks ago, but now she's all like "You don't even have a date!" She's seriously against me going because she doesn't want me to "get hurt" by all the couples dancing. Well, if Man-pretty ever answers me, and if he says yes, then I'll have a date.
Pink Piggy's mom...yes, her mom, her and herself all came up with this plan. Well, Pink Piggy's siter, Shorty, is one of Man-pretty's friends, and well, her boyfriend is on college, so he asked if she wanted to go just as friends 'cause he doesn't have a date anyway (this was before I asked him out). Shorty doesn't want to go with him, so she wants to tell him that she has to take her sister and that maybe he should go with me. Or if that doesn't work, all go together and hang out. But no. I'm not allowed to go now. I hate this. He turns 18 in December and graduates next May. This may be my only chance to go with him.
I feel like an idiot because I was reading the local paper and there was a picture of him in it. I got all excited and cut it out. I keep looking at it and drooling.
Pink Piggy's mom...yes, her mom, her and herself all came up with this plan. Well, Pink Piggy's siter, Shorty, is one of Man-pretty's friends, and well, her boyfriend is on college, so he asked if she wanted to go just as friends 'cause he doesn't have a date anyway (this was before I asked him out). Shorty doesn't want to go with him, so she wants to tell him that she has to take her sister and that maybe he should go with me. Or if that doesn't work, all go together and hang out. But no. I'm not allowed to go now. I hate this. He turns 18 in December and graduates next May. This may be my only chance to go with him.
I feel like an idiot because I was reading the local paper and there was a picture of him in it. I got all excited and cut it out. I keep looking at it and drooling.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Alright...I think I have proof Man-pretty's ignoring me. Yesterday he wouldn't look at me at all. Then today I was walkin' down the hallway to ITT, and I did a casual thing: I smiled at him. He acted like he didn't see me. He shoved his face into his books and started walking faster.
Is this a sign that he doesn't want to go out with me, or is it just my imagination?
I feel so bad. Tomorrow I will have waited two weeks for a response from him. Tomorrow will also be the one year anniversary that Whelk Boy broke up with me. There's a rumor going around that he madeout with another guy. I kinda doubt it's true.
I just wish Man-pretty would give me a straight up answer and not just ignore me.
Is this a sign that he doesn't want to go out with me, or is it just my imagination?
I feel so bad. Tomorrow I will have waited two weeks for a response from him. Tomorrow will also be the one year anniversary that Whelk Boy broke up with me. There's a rumor going around that he madeout with another guy. I kinda doubt it's true.
I just wish Man-pretty would give me a straight up answer and not just ignore me.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Get Your VIAGRA Ready!
Okay, so our dance team is going to a place called Rengency in a couple of hours. It's an old persons' home. I seriously doubt that they are going to like a bunch of teenage girls shaking their asses to lousy pop music in barely there uniforms. One of our songs is "One Two Step" and I have a slight feeling that one, maybe two (probably none) of the people are going to think we're acually doing the two step.
So I guess performing for the elderly wasn't that bad. We went, played with a cat named Harry (BB renamed it Yo' Momma), danced, ate ice cream, moved tables, and left. This one lady was seriously excited...she was dancin' and everything. Apparently she used to dance professionally...which is awesome. I almost kicked this one lady's walker. I kinda pride the fact that I can kick myself in the face, but the walker was in the way so I couldn't show off my flexibility. How terribly sad. It was awesome when Belly smacked Vic (our performing area was tiny). She didn't do it on purpose (obviously, I mean it's Belly), but it was kinda great 'cause there have been some days at practice when I've wanted to hit Vic. She's nice and everything, and I know she's going to graduate in May, but sometimes....
Man-pretty didn't talk to me at all today. I passed him in the halls and he didn't even look at me. That kinda hurts.
In health we had to watch this video on making human life. It was kinda interesting...I guess...since we've all been inside our moms and undergone the processes ourselves. The only parts I didn't like were when the guy blew his wad and when the baby came out of its mother. The guy and the semen was computer annimated (obviously), but the baby bein' born was actual footage. I used to think I wanted to have my kids naturally (when I'm of age of course), but oh my goodness. OWIE!!!
So I guess performing for the elderly wasn't that bad. We went, played with a cat named Harry (BB renamed it Yo' Momma), danced, ate ice cream, moved tables, and left. This one lady was seriously excited...she was dancin' and everything. Apparently she used to dance professionally...which is awesome. I almost kicked this one lady's walker. I kinda pride the fact that I can kick myself in the face, but the walker was in the way so I couldn't show off my flexibility. How terribly sad. It was awesome when Belly smacked Vic (our performing area was tiny). She didn't do it on purpose (obviously, I mean it's Belly), but it was kinda great 'cause there have been some days at practice when I've wanted to hit Vic. She's nice and everything, and I know she's going to graduate in May, but sometimes....
Man-pretty didn't talk to me at all today. I passed him in the halls and he didn't even look at me. That kinda hurts.
In health we had to watch this video on making human life. It was kinda interesting...I guess...since we've all been inside our moms and undergone the processes ourselves. The only parts I didn't like were when the guy blew his wad and when the baby came out of its mother. The guy and the semen was computer annimated (obviously), but the baby bein' born was actual footage. I used to think I wanted to have my kids naturally (when I'm of age of course), but oh my goodness. OWIE!!!
Monday, February 21, 2005
The Most Indecisive Person Ever!
This isn't a poem, but I don't want it to be a normal entry either.
On the bus ride home I watched him.
His full, luscious lips lip syncing to Led Zeppelin.
He had his glasses on...illuminating the brownness of his eyes.
Is it wrong that I want to look into those eyes and touch those lips?
I could watch him for hours, days, on end.
Gazing out the window at nothing much, he looks so handsome.
I caught his eye a few times, but recieved no smile.
My eyes continuously travel up to the cow-lick in his bangs.
I want to play with it.
Why can't he decide?
Is it that hard?
He likes me, but he doesn't trust himself.
I don't understand how he can be so amazing but think he's such an uncaring boyfriend.
I wish he would let me make that decision.
This is tearing me apart, but I love this feeling. It's like a blissful pergatory. I know that's a total oxymoron, but it's the only way I can describe how I'm feeling. Not knowing what's going to happen, or what he's going to say just makes tingle with anticipation. However, I want to know. Will this crush, ever develop into anything more?
On the bus ride home I watched him.
His full, luscious lips lip syncing to Led Zeppelin.
He had his glasses on...illuminating the brownness of his eyes.
Is it wrong that I want to look into those eyes and touch those lips?
I could watch him for hours, days, on end.
Gazing out the window at nothing much, he looks so handsome.
I caught his eye a few times, but recieved no smile.
My eyes continuously travel up to the cow-lick in his bangs.
I want to play with it.
Why can't he decide?
Is it that hard?
He likes me, but he doesn't trust himself.
I don't understand how he can be so amazing but think he's such an uncaring boyfriend.
I wish he would let me make that decision.
This is tearing me apart, but I love this feeling. It's like a blissful pergatory. I know that's a total oxymoron, but it's the only way I can describe how I'm feeling. Not knowing what's going to happen, or what he's going to say just makes tingle with anticipation. However, I want to know. Will this crush, ever develop into anything more?
Solo & Ensemble
Alright, today was the day I've been dreading for quite some time. Seriously, i thought my solo would suck ass. It did, but my judge pittied me and gave me a 2!!!
The Brass and Percussion Ensemble so deserved State, but that judge was a dilhole and gave us a 1, but no *. How gay. Low Brass Choir sucked ass, I think we got a 3.
Man-pretty and I talked A LOT today. He, Miss, and I were playing with my LIVESTRONG band and Miss took it and shot it at me. It hit me in the boob and Man-pretty was all like, "That band got to second with her!" It was great.
Apparently he told Victim that he likes me.
This guy (who shall remain nameless) told me that I needed to ask out Man-pretty 'cause if I did there would be a 95% chance he'd say yes. Then I told him my sad story of 10 days ago, so he walked up to Man-pretty and started tellin' him that I deserved an answer. I left the room.
Man-pretty and G-string were sitting and talking during lunch(ish), and I had soooo...much fun talkin' with them. Man-pretty heard me call G-string G-stirng (yes, I actually do use some of these nicknames in everyday life) and I had to tell him the funny story with the scarf. I had to remind Man-pretty that he had a nickname. I couldn't remember that I call him Man-pretty. I think if he ever found this I'd cry.
I forced myself to ask him about the dating subject. My exact words were "Should I assume that your silence on the subject is a polite way of saying no?" Yeah, he said no. He's still thinking about it. I mean, COME ON!!! If you like me then go out with me.
I was staring at him like, the entire ride home on the bus. I kinda think he knew that.
When he answers, I'll obviously post what he says.
The Brass and Percussion Ensemble so deserved State, but that judge was a dilhole and gave us a 1, but no *. How gay. Low Brass Choir sucked ass, I think we got a 3.
Man-pretty and I talked A LOT today. He, Miss, and I were playing with my LIVESTRONG band and Miss took it and shot it at me. It hit me in the boob and Man-pretty was all like, "That band got to second with her!" It was great.
Apparently he told Victim that he likes me.
This guy (who shall remain nameless) told me that I needed to ask out Man-pretty 'cause if I did there would be a 95% chance he'd say yes. Then I told him my sad story of 10 days ago, so he walked up to Man-pretty and started tellin' him that I deserved an answer. I left the room.
Man-pretty and G-string were sitting and talking during lunch(ish), and I had soooo...much fun talkin' with them. Man-pretty heard me call G-string G-stirng (yes, I actually do use some of these nicknames in everyday life) and I had to tell him the funny story with the scarf. I had to remind Man-pretty that he had a nickname. I couldn't remember that I call him Man-pretty. I think if he ever found this I'd cry.
I forced myself to ask him about the dating subject. My exact words were "Should I assume that your silence on the subject is a polite way of saying no?" Yeah, he said no. He's still thinking about it. I mean, COME ON!!! If you like me then go out with me.
I was staring at him like, the entire ride home on the bus. I kinda think he knew that.
When he answers, I'll obviously post what he says.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
I RULE!!!
Wow! Last night was awesome! There were only like 30 people at the dance, but that was okay, they were the right people...if you know what I mean.
I wish Victim would have been there though.
I never got the courage to ask Man-pretty to slow dance, but other than that he was like, right next to me the entire night. At one point he picked me up and spun me around. It rocked.
I actually caught him looking at my booty. I can't believe I just said booty.
He was SCREAMING the lyrics to "Get Low" and I had to remind him that he was white. It was great.
Sneakers put her arm on my shoulder, and Man-pretty freaked me out because he went around to the other side of me and put his arm around me...I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Okay, he's a lot taller than I am. Seriously, I'm only about 4'11". Well, I was standing up and he was sitting down and I was all like "Yay, I'm taller than you." Man-pretty kinda freaked me out 'cause he wasn't exactly looking at my face when he responded...if you know what I mean. He even said something about the area.
Yeah, last night rocked my socks. Except when he left and never said good-bye.
Today we had Sub-District for Forensics. My category's soloacting.
First Round: 16
Second Round: 22
Third Round: 17
Some people from my school didn't make it.
There was this guy and his coach like, totally yelled at him because she was his judge and he used a chair in his first round. He was in Poetry, so he wasn't allowed to.
I felt so bad for him, later on some of the people from his school were listening to some of the music he brought with him and laughing. He seemed pretty nice to me.
Man-pretty seriously needs to come online right now! I want to talk to him!
When I had been changing, Marinesco asked him why he hasn't answered me about goin' out.
Apparently he said he likes me, but he's not sure if he want's to go out wit' me.
I think he just means he likes me as a friend.
I wish Victim would have been there though.
I never got the courage to ask Man-pretty to slow dance, but other than that he was like, right next to me the entire night. At one point he picked me up and spun me around. It rocked.
I actually caught him looking at my booty. I can't believe I just said booty.
He was SCREAMING the lyrics to "Get Low" and I had to remind him that he was white. It was great.
Sneakers put her arm on my shoulder, and Man-pretty freaked me out because he went around to the other side of me and put his arm around me...I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Okay, he's a lot taller than I am. Seriously, I'm only about 4'11". Well, I was standing up and he was sitting down and I was all like "Yay, I'm taller than you." Man-pretty kinda freaked me out 'cause he wasn't exactly looking at my face when he responded...if you know what I mean. He even said something about the area.
Yeah, last night rocked my socks. Except when he left and never said good-bye.
Today we had Sub-District for Forensics. My category's soloacting.
First Round: 16
Second Round: 22
Third Round: 17
Some people from my school didn't make it.
There was this guy and his coach like, totally yelled at him because she was his judge and he used a chair in his first round. He was in Poetry, so he wasn't allowed to.
I felt so bad for him, later on some of the people from his school were listening to some of the music he brought with him and laughing. He seemed pretty nice to me.
Man-pretty seriously needs to come online right now! I want to talk to him!
When I had been changing, Marinesco asked him why he hasn't answered me about goin' out.
Apparently he said he likes me, but he's not sure if he want's to go out wit' me.
I think he just means he likes me as a friend.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Party Hardy
There's a dance tonight...aren't you excited? This supposed to be Valentine's Dance is only the second we've had all year (Homecoming obviously the first). Yay to our school not having any money!
I swear, like only four people are going to be there. Mr. C asked his 4th Block Geometry class who was all goin' (he and Mr. P are the chaperognes), and I was the only one who raised my hand. Wonderful.
I'm spendin' the night at Pink Piggy's 'cause my dad really doesn't want to be out past 11. Her mom's takin' me us to the school in the morning where we will board a luxurious school bus and enjoy the 15 minute ride to our Sub-District Forensics Meet.
Then on Monday, all the nonslacking band/choir students will board yet another bus (this time at 6:45 am) and ride 20 minutes in the other direction for Solo and Ensemble. That one should be interesting given I can't play half the notes in my solo. Mr. K expects Brass and Percussion Ensemble to go to State. Our Low Brass Choir is another story however. We practiced in the folder room for like, half an hour today. It was great. People kept whackin' Man-pretty with the door as they were tryin' to come in. Finally, someone moved one of the shelves so the door couldn't open. At one point someone on the other side couldn't comprehend that the door just wasn't opening and Man-pretty screamed "NO" at it. I was attempting to play at the time which made it increasingly difficult as everyone found it hilarious.
Wish my luck with all my exciting adventures over the weekend!
Especially the dance, I'm not sure if a certain guy I asked out last week will be there.
I swear, like only four people are going to be there. Mr. C asked his 4th Block Geometry class who was all goin' (he and Mr. P are the chaperognes), and I was the only one who raised my hand. Wonderful.
I'm spendin' the night at Pink Piggy's 'cause my dad really doesn't want to be out past 11. Her mom's takin' me us to the school in the morning where we will board a luxurious school bus and enjoy the 15 minute ride to our Sub-District Forensics Meet.
Then on Monday, all the nonslacking band/choir students will board yet another bus (this time at 6:45 am) and ride 20 minutes in the other direction for Solo and Ensemble. That one should be interesting given I can't play half the notes in my solo. Mr. K expects Brass and Percussion Ensemble to go to State. Our Low Brass Choir is another story however. We practiced in the folder room for like, half an hour today. It was great. People kept whackin' Man-pretty with the door as they were tryin' to come in. Finally, someone moved one of the shelves so the door couldn't open. At one point someone on the other side couldn't comprehend that the door just wasn't opening and Man-pretty screamed "NO" at it. I was attempting to play at the time which made it increasingly difficult as everyone found it hilarious.
Wish my luck with all my exciting adventures over the weekend!
Especially the dance, I'm not sure if a certain guy I asked out last week will be there.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Last Friday
Last Friday I actually brought myself to do the unspeakable. I asked Man-pretty out. We had a dance performance (which I did wonderful in) and then we had pepband, followed by another performance. Well, I went into the bandroom and there he was. He had some music stuffed in his tuba that he couldn't get out. It's probably still there. Anyway, I asked if I could talk with him. I pulled him into the folder room and asked. He wasn't paying attention...so I had to ask again. He said he would think about it. He doesn't know because he hasn't thought about having a girlfriend for a long time. Then apparently he told Victim that he was seriously thinking about it and he doesn't have a reason to say no.
Today's Thursday.
He still hasn't answered me yet.
Tuesday we had pepband and yet another performance. The one for the JV game was seriously screwed up because someone (Sir) changed the song during our routine. Afterwards I ran into the bandroom (obviously my place of refuge) and Man-pretty was in there. He was wearing a black cowboy hat and speaking with a Southern accent. It was hot. Someone at the game had a shirt on that said "Save a horse. RIDE A COWBOY." Wow, I really wanted to obey it. He and I talked and stuff...a lot. He even sat next to me while we were playing.
This week has been Winter Carnival so each day is a different dress up thing. Well today was Class Distinction. Freshmen were green...so it was GREEN DAY!!!
HaHa
I had FRESHMAN written across my forehead.
Man-pretty had been playing football and he tackled Whelk Boy. It was the best thing I've ever seen.
Today's Thursday.
He still hasn't answered me yet.
Tuesday we had pepband and yet another performance. The one for the JV game was seriously screwed up because someone (Sir) changed the song during our routine. Afterwards I ran into the bandroom (obviously my place of refuge) and Man-pretty was in there. He was wearing a black cowboy hat and speaking with a Southern accent. It was hot. Someone at the game had a shirt on that said "Save a horse. RIDE A COWBOY." Wow, I really wanted to obey it. He and I talked and stuff...a lot. He even sat next to me while we were playing.
This week has been Winter Carnival so each day is a different dress up thing. Well today was Class Distinction. Freshmen were green...so it was GREEN DAY!!!
HaHa
I had FRESHMAN written across my forehead.
Man-pretty had been playing football and he tackled Whelk Boy. It was the best thing I've ever seen.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Lunch
Okay, it's like, lunch and stuff. I've made a decision that I am not going to ask Man-pretty out. My mom had a valid point that if he wanted to go out with me he would have asked me out himself.
Victim said that he just doesn't want to ask anyone out because he thinks he's a bad boyfriend. I don't see how this can be true.
I don't know, maybe I will still ask him out.
Crap, lunch is almost over!
Victim said that he just doesn't want to ask anyone out because he thinks he's a bad boyfriend. I don't see how this can be true.
I don't know, maybe I will still ask him out.
Crap, lunch is almost over!
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Painful Feelings
It hurts to like him.
I cry because I care too much.
I know I don't love him,
but I'd love to be with him.
The problem is I don't want to be with him.
What would I be to him?
Just another girl he couldn't turn down.
How would I know whether or not I mattered?
If only he could look at me and see half the admiration I see when I see him.
If only he could look at me and see half the admiration I see when I see him.
How wonderful that would be.
Too bad that only happens in my fantasies.
But why should it?
Don't I deserve to be cared for and respected?
He knows my feelings all too well.
I wish he could see that this is much more than just a simple crush.
I doubt it's love, but it has to be something.
Only in My Dreams
He grabs me and hold me near as his lips gently find mine.
Neither could be happier because we both know we feel the same for oneanother.
It's all ended by the steady beep of an alarm.
Must I only hold him in my dreams?
When I wake I only find despair in the fact he's only mine while I sleep.
Why must I feel such longing as our eyes meet day after day?
While I dream my world is perfection.
As I sleep he's mine all mine.
Dreams are the only safe-haven for my love for him.
So bored!
No, I'm not crazy. I'm just insanely bored at the moment because Man-pretty's not online & usually this is when he's on. I'm currently posting EVERYTHING I have to occupy my time.
The vast majority of the poems I post I wrote about Man-pretty because I am obsessed with him. He knows how much I like him and stuff, but he won't do anything about it. I physically cannot bring myself to asking him out because if I did and he said no I'd mostlikely spontaniously combust.
According to Victim he likes me too. Apparently he told her that. I'm guessin' he meant as a friend. I turn 15 in little over a month which makes me excited because I'm hoping that's the main reason he's not interested in me...because I'm 14 and he's 17.
Let me describe him for all you who have no clue who he is. He is a tall, sexy beast. He has the darkest brown eyes I have ever seen & they match his hair. He's skinnier than I am, which is odd because usually I like guys with some "meat" to cuddle up with ;) He has an amazing backside which I couldnt help but stare at while he stood infront of me for a section of the field show for Homecoming (which he was my "date" to because he didn't have any money). Yeah, apparently he's kind of a dork, but that's the kinda guys I prefer because I myself am a DORK!!!I love it when he wears his glasses. If he had braces I'd probably die of excitement.
Valentine's Day is comin' up & I plan on makin' some sort of a move. I'm not gonna say what, that's a secret!
The vast majority of the poems I post I wrote about Man-pretty because I am obsessed with him. He knows how much I like him and stuff, but he won't do anything about it. I physically cannot bring myself to asking him out because if I did and he said no I'd mostlikely spontaniously combust.
According to Victim he likes me too. Apparently he told her that. I'm guessin' he meant as a friend. I turn 15 in little over a month which makes me excited because I'm hoping that's the main reason he's not interested in me...because I'm 14 and he's 17.
Let me describe him for all you who have no clue who he is. He is a tall, sexy beast. He has the darkest brown eyes I have ever seen & they match his hair. He's skinnier than I am, which is odd because usually I like guys with some "meat" to cuddle up with ;) He has an amazing backside which I couldnt help but stare at while he stood infront of me for a section of the field show for Homecoming (which he was my "date" to because he didn't have any money). Yeah, apparently he's kind of a dork, but that's the kinda guys I prefer because I myself am a DORK!!!I love it when he wears his glasses. If he had braces I'd probably die of excitement.
Valentine's Day is comin' up & I plan on makin' some sort of a move. I'm not gonna say what, that's a secret!
You Are:
You are the cause of my sanity and insanity.
The sight of you lifts my heart and burdens my soul.
You bring me to tell you the contents of my darkest desires.
How is that possible?
After I spill my heart out to you I feel better for the briefest moment.
That's when the pain mounts.
You bring me to my knees, spilling my tears.
Yet you set me afire with the briefest of smiles.
Confusion is all I get from you.
The English Assignment
In English we were given an assignment to write a narrative about something that's impacted us. This is what mine is!
The Ride Home
His car smelled like faint Old Spice. As I sat there I couldn't believe I was in the car that I've watched drive by so many times. One question circulated around in my mind as Man-pretty unlocked his door: Why on earth would he offer me a ride home if he knew I liked him so much?
I quickly took note on everything he said between the school doors and his car. Rush, Mad TB, coughing, cars, and brooms were all mentioned in that brief time. I took a huge breath as he got into the driver's seat. Obviously the first thing I did was make a joke. How me. Why can't I ever do anything right? But what was I supposed dto say? I couldn't have just declared my love to him--for a second time.
Man-pretty's read all those poems. Those lousy poems I wrote about him that sit in the bottom of my locker. Why did I show him them? Those were supposed to be private and I outright told him he was my inspiration. The weird thing was he said he liked them; he said they were good enough to be entered in a contest. There's just something about him that makes me spill out all my personal feelings. Things I don't even feel comfortable sharing with the best of my friends I feel I can easily confide in him. He told me about how he was cheated on and how he has "issues" that he's pretty sure he's gotten over.
He turned on his CD player, which was set on blaring. He was backing out of the parking lot when he peeled out. I was so worried Man-pretty would drive so quickly we wouldn't have time to talk. He quickly reassured me that wasn't going to happen when he started laughing and fiddling with the CD player. "Remember that song I wrote, I sent you the lyrics? Wanna hear something funny?"
"Hmmm?" I quickly recalled what he was talking about. How could I not? I had read those lyrics about fifteen times. I had even saved them to my private documents. It was a song about dreams.
"Well, it's number eleven." He said this as the track number on the digital display read 11. "I lied, I didn't write it. It's an old Rush tune."
"How rude! You lied to me. I feel so hurt!" We both started laughing as he turned the corner.
He took off the hat he had been wearing. That ridiculous hat that had been hiding his soft, brown hair, which I have had the honor of playing with on past occasions, was chucked into the backseat. "That'll add to the junk in my trunk." It took all my strength to keep myself from saying something about his butt. I really didn't want the topic of conversation to go there.
I mentioned something about soccer. Man-pretty and I both love soccer. It's one of the things we have in common.
After that it seemed like I was home in an instant. I opened the door to get out. As I looked back into the car to give one last thanks I saw his magnificent brown eyes looking at me. "See you tomorrow." Was all he said, but it was enough. Enough to keep me up all night recalling how much I adore him and how he won't acknowledge that fact.
As I do every night before I go to sleep, I thought of how wonderful it would be to have his arms wrapped around me. To see him smile and know that I was the cause would be simply amazing. Maybe some day, hopefully some day soon, that'll happen. For now I like to think of that night as a turning point. A turning point that hasn't yet fully turned.
What do you think? A bit too much for an assignment? Peanuts said that I should use his real name in the assignment, which I am. For some reason in this thing I'm not going to use real names. It adds to the mystery that is my life. LOL, so no, his name's not really Man-pretty, that's just what I call him.
The Ride Home
His car smelled like faint Old Spice. As I sat there I couldn't believe I was in the car that I've watched drive by so many times. One question circulated around in my mind as Man-pretty unlocked his door: Why on earth would he offer me a ride home if he knew I liked him so much?
I quickly took note on everything he said between the school doors and his car. Rush, Mad TB, coughing, cars, and brooms were all mentioned in that brief time. I took a huge breath as he got into the driver's seat. Obviously the first thing I did was make a joke. How me. Why can't I ever do anything right? But what was I supposed dto say? I couldn't have just declared my love to him--for a second time.
Man-pretty's read all those poems. Those lousy poems I wrote about him that sit in the bottom of my locker. Why did I show him them? Those were supposed to be private and I outright told him he was my inspiration. The weird thing was he said he liked them; he said they were good enough to be entered in a contest. There's just something about him that makes me spill out all my personal feelings. Things I don't even feel comfortable sharing with the best of my friends I feel I can easily confide in him. He told me about how he was cheated on and how he has "issues" that he's pretty sure he's gotten over.
He turned on his CD player, which was set on blaring. He was backing out of the parking lot when he peeled out. I was so worried Man-pretty would drive so quickly we wouldn't have time to talk. He quickly reassured me that wasn't going to happen when he started laughing and fiddling with the CD player. "Remember that song I wrote, I sent you the lyrics? Wanna hear something funny?"
"Hmmm?" I quickly recalled what he was talking about. How could I not? I had read those lyrics about fifteen times. I had even saved them to my private documents. It was a song about dreams.
"Well, it's number eleven." He said this as the track number on the digital display read 11. "I lied, I didn't write it. It's an old Rush tune."
"How rude! You lied to me. I feel so hurt!" We both started laughing as he turned the corner.
He took off the hat he had been wearing. That ridiculous hat that had been hiding his soft, brown hair, which I have had the honor of playing with on past occasions, was chucked into the backseat. "That'll add to the junk in my trunk." It took all my strength to keep myself from saying something about his butt. I really didn't want the topic of conversation to go there.
I mentioned something about soccer. Man-pretty and I both love soccer. It's one of the things we have in common.
After that it seemed like I was home in an instant. I opened the door to get out. As I looked back into the car to give one last thanks I saw his magnificent brown eyes looking at me. "See you tomorrow." Was all he said, but it was enough. Enough to keep me up all night recalling how much I adore him and how he won't acknowledge that fact.
As I do every night before I go to sleep, I thought of how wonderful it would be to have his arms wrapped around me. To see him smile and know that I was the cause would be simply amazing. Maybe some day, hopefully some day soon, that'll happen. For now I like to think of that night as a turning point. A turning point that hasn't yet fully turned.
What do you think? A bit too much for an assignment? Peanuts said that I should use his real name in the assignment, which I am. For some reason in this thing I'm not going to use real names. It adds to the mystery that is my life. LOL, so no, his name's not really Man-pretty, that's just what I call him.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Love Isn't What You Expected
How often does that one love come along?
That one love that truly makes you ache.
To feel amazing special around that one
person you know nothing about but know
everything about them.
How much do you really want it?
To feel that special spark that fills every crevice of your body with warmth?
Most would die for it, but would you?
How do you know what you're feeling really is love?
You don't, but yet somehow you feel it within.
It never matters what they look like,
or what others think.
What you feel is for yourself.
Once believed love was felt with your mind,
truly its within your heart.
Not just an organ for life, but one for love.
What is love? When will it happen upon you?
Both answers are undistinguishable.
When you see a certain someone how do you feel?
Everything around ceases to exist.
You live for that single second when your eyes meet.
When you long for that one touch, that one kiss,
that's what love truly is.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
I can't work computers!
Hi, I like, made this so I can do something with the poetry I write that sits in the bottom of my locker. I can also vent guiltfree...so if there seems to be nonsense babble, that's just my way...
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