Another crack at the whole picture thing

I still can't find any decent pictures of me (imagine that). I have come to the conclusion that I do not have very many pictures. Every year I bring a disposable camera to the last day of school--those are pretty much all the pictures I have.
Should I post pictures of my friends? Hmmm...well, if they see them and don't want them here let me know and I'll take them off.

Hehe, I love this picture! Marenesco stuffed her face with pizza--it's hard to believe she bleached her hair blonde and now wears preppy clothes.













Grandpa Stick looking confuddled. He is the only guy that can mock me every day and not piss me off by doing so. He has skills.














Dora, you accesorize lovely, dear. Although, I enjoy it when you wear your "trucker" shirt that says Bubba, along with your boa, tiara, and sword.



















Look at my ever-so-wonderful Spongebob plaque--that I just noticed is crooked....Oh, and next to it is my messy closet! Oh wait, I think there's a person in this picture...hmmm, I wonder who that could be...I think he might be that guy--what's his name again? Oh yeah, I think it's Dude-pretty, or something like that--maybe even Man-pretty....

Am I punk?

Yeah, I already posted today, but I'm bored--sue me. Whoa, I just noticed my arm is bleeding...anyway.
I was looking through my new clothes and I had a weird image run through my brain: am I punk? The clothes I have look like something Avril Lavigne would wear--I even have a tie. Yes, I said it--I now wear a tie on a daily basis (for almost a week now). No, Beaver, you cannot have it, so please stop trying to rip it off my neck.
Then of course there's my obsession with Converse. Victim was telling me that only a few people can pull off the "Converse look" and I am one of them. I guess the image of Converse is generally one of a person who looks cool without even trying. I'm sure I look ever-so-trendy in my Converse and sweatervest (which is very comfortable by the way). My new pair of white Converse took on a makeover last night. I took a bunch of perminant markers and drew stop lights, fish, fire hydrants, crazy people, arguing stick figures, the school mascot, and junk all over them. Needless to say, they look flippin' sweet.
Wanna read something stupid? Read this:

They say opposites attract--and I hope it's true
The only thing I want could just be you

You're the split to my banana
You're my peanut butter and jelly
You're the cream in my coffee
With all this food--I'm hungry!

I delcare my love on a million post-its
All we are is a couple of misfits
We gotta run and run away you know
How 'bout we escape to Reno?

The difference between us is slight
You quote Napoleon Bonaparte
I quote Napoleon Dynamite

You're the seeds in my orange
You're the cheese on my pizza
You're the potatoes to my gravy
You're my one and only baby!

Oh please please tell me
Oh please won't you say...

I'm the hole in your donut
I'm the frosting for your cake
I'm the pit in your peach
Please let me be in your reach!

Does anyone care that I'm freezing?

Needless to say--I'M COLD!!!
Yesterday I tried to posted twice (both were very long, interesting posts of course...), but when I posted them there was an error and they were erassed!
I wonder if this one'll post--hmmm.
My dad bought me this cushion thingy for when I drive. I have this tendancy to just disappear--like walk away without saying anything and stuff. Well, whenever I do it my dad knows I'm in my car with my arms curled around the steering wheel. He figured out that I really can't see over the dashboard (I can, but he thinks it's funny to say I'm that little), so he bought me a cushion that "boosts" the driver. It came in the mail this morning...I should be a dork and put it in his truck.
I watched a Humphrey Bogart movie this morning (I've been up a long time), and it freakin' rocked.
If Peanuts is reading this, I didn't mean to sound like a bitch. I just gave you my point of view. My honest opinion is that you need to ditch Skater and abandon Sir Duct Tape. Skater isn't really into the whole talking part of a relationship (if you catch my drift) and Sir Duct Tape I'm starting to question. He is a very good friend--don't get me wrong. It's just, when he was dating Perfection he would purposely avoid her. And now that he's dating Glue I've never seen them talk--their faces are too smooshed together to form words.
Can you imagine that school is in less than two days--roughly 43 hours. I really need to get all my school crap together so I won't be in a rush Thursday morning. Although, I highly doubt that can be avoided!

The difference between us

You quote Napoleon Bonaparte.
I quote Napoleon Dynamite.

I'm getting good at this whole blogging thing

The title says it all. Okay, so maybe not. Anyway, I've actually managed to post some links all up on the side bar thingy. If you're reading this and your blog or whatever isn't on it, feel free to slap me until I remember to fix it!
Nothing really happened today. I'm watching Apollo 13 right now--I love it.
It's early, maybe I'll post later tonight.
I'll just leave you with some lyrics. My iPod Mini keeps playing this song when I put it on shuffle, but it's a good thing because this song freaking rocks my dirty little socks.

"Everything Louder Than Everything Else" (not the whole song--it's really long)

by Meat Loaf

I know that I will never be politically correct

I don't give a damn about my lack of etiquette

As far as I'm concerned--the world could still be flat

And if the thrill is gone--then it's time to take it back!

If the thrill is gone--then it's time to take it back!

Who am I? Why am I here?

Forget the questions! Someone gimme another beer!

What's the meaning of life

What's the meaning of it all?

You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl!

You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl!

And I ain't in it for the power

And I ain't in it for the health

I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all

And I sure ain't in it for the wealth

But I'm in it till it's over and I just can't stop

If you wanna get it done

You got to do it yourself

And I like my music like I like my life

Everything louder than everything else!

They say that I'm in the need of some radical discipline

They say I gotta face the truth

That I'm just another case of arrested development

And just another wasted youth

They say I'm wild and I'm wreckless

I should be acting my age

I'm an impressionable child in a tumultous world

And they say I'm at a difficult stage

A wasted youth is better by far

than a wise and productive old age! (6x)

Victims house, County Fair, First Job, Evil Nicknameless People, Old Feelings, Crazy Michigans, Everything Louder Than Everything Else, Beaver...

First things first: THIS IS MY 101st POST!!! Yay!!!

Victim's house:
I went to Victim's house on Wednesday. We talked to bunches of people online. I apologize if she or myself have offended any of you by the way....
She and I were together Wednesday morning to...about an hour ago.

County Fair:
The Ironwood, MI fair rolled on into our county on Wednesday. I went there Thursday, Friday, and today. It was fun. I kinda got sick (not like vomiting) from some of the rides. Although, after I started to feel better I noticed a sign on the ride I had mostly ridden that said "Do not ride if you have heart or neck problems..." Since I have both I'm guessing that's not cool....Neither are very serious, but still.

Stalker Ex-boyfiend:
I swear Whelk Boy was following me at the fair. I saw him three times in less than two minutes. I said hi to him, but he looked away and mumbled something. One of my friends actually caught him staring at me.

Cake:
All I've ever heard Cake talk about has been sex--well, that was when his face wasn't attached to his girlfriend's. He is Man-pretty's best friend, so I assume he knows all about stuff. I was sitting alone and he spotted me I guess. He detached himself from his girlfriend and walked up to me and smiled. Then he started talking about how I looked lonely. He then offered me a free keychain they were giving away in a booth nearby. He is a pretty nice guy.

First Job:
So I also worked at the front gate at the fair. It was freaking sweet. Pink Piggy trained me, which was good because I'm not sure anyone else would've put up with me. It freakin' rocked! Although, it was $5.25 an hour...not even minimum wage. I was having fun until Organization's brother started being evil....

Evil Nicknameless People:
He was so mean. He doesn't even deserve a nickname. So for the first time in the history of this blog I will reveal someone's real name. Jake Hirdler is a freaking douche bag! I've never really talked to him before, but he is! He's like, a grade above me and really cute--but he knows it! Luckily, he left 15 minutes before he was supposed to. At least I had a good thing going for me at work. Which leads me too...

Old Feelings:
Grandpa Stick was also working last night. He's not moving away. Jake called me nasty, and Grandpa Stick didn't disagree...he just kept drinking his water when I asked his opinion. Then he felt really bad for making me sad. We had a rush and I ran out of wrist bands, so I just grabbed some out of his holder...which was around his waist--I honestly didn't realize what I was doing! Grrr...I predict it will be exactly like before. He and I will get close (again), I'll have a crush on him (again), he'll lead me on (again), I'll ask him out (again), he'll laugh at me (again). Hmm...sounds exciting. At least I know my plans for the next year!

Crazy Michigans:
Marenesco is crazy: she wants Fat Kid's junk and to schlub him. Don't ask.

Everything Louder Than Everything Else:
Nothing to do with anything, it's just the song I'm listening to right now. It freaking rocks!

Beaver:
I ran into Beaver today! He has become a very bitter individual and I love him more. I always thought he and I were close, but now he actually is sharing his views and opinions openly and I'm finding I agree with him.

Carnies and Phone Numbers:
So Victim has the hots for one of the carnies working rides at the fair. She doesn't believe he likes her too, but he does. He had one hour of a break, and he spent it following her around....
Not to mention the fact I slipped him her phone number and he did a little dance and showed it to one of his carnie buddies....

I knew there was a reason I post every day....otherwise I'd explode with all the information!

Gorillas, prostitutes, hairy people, calling cards, and ramen noodles

Marenesico called me today! I always enjoy our conversations because she has ADD, so we're constantly talking about different topics. The title of this post are just a few things we discussed. She has come to the conclusion that she no longer wants relationships--just a guys' "junk" will suffice. I guess she now has the "hots" for some cop's son. I slightly find this funny figuring in the fact that she was just let off of house arrest....

SWEET!!! I managed to get pictures on this beast! Sadly, I have no good pictures of myself. I improvised and decided to post a "wonderful" picture of the front of PHS.
I love how the mass of bushsed infront actually appear green when in reality they're brown and have numerous teenagers hiding among them.

Hmmm...what else can I post a picture of? I don't know, but since I finally figured out how to do it, I'm going to do it often (for about a week until I get sick of it).
Hey, everyone needs to check out my shoes....yeah, they rock. I have another four pairs exactly like them only in different colors.



I couldn't find a picture of a Lepregnome (imagine that), so I had to settle for a regular, garden variety gnome.


This post probably looks like total poo because of all the pictures. Anyway, I'll eventually get some pics of me up...as soon as I find a good one. I need to seriously stop now. If I had no self control, I'd keep posting random pictures like a random picture poster. However, I will stop myself here.

Guy problems

For now I am happy solving guy problems--however, they are not my own. I am once again placed in the position of advice counselor and I could not be any happier.
Yes, I have guy problems (problem is more like it), but I am happy being confuddled.
Sounds crazy, but I'm happy being on the sidelines of a mass of confusion.
Ahhhh...can you smell that? It's the smell of utter chaos and it smells wonderful.

Guys don't get hints--if you have no clue what I'm talking about it probably means I'm talking about you...

I have no clue. Seriously, the post title has nothing to do with what I have to say...well, maybe it does if I decide to talk about that stuff.
I'm currently watching Fear Factor which is highly amusing. I don't like watching all the stunts, but watching all the people try to freak out their opponents is freakin' hilarious.
I really have nothing to say, but I have nothing better to do with my time.
I'm really bad with computers. Blogging, e-mail, and typing are pretty much all I know how to do. I've finally mastered scanning pictures onto the computer, but the whole moving them from "My Pictures" to my blog is....beyond me. So I am trying to figure out how to do that--I swear. For some reason I used to know how to move a picture from a website to my blog, but I cannot remember how I ever figured that one out. Oh well. I'll spend some more time tonight trying to do post a couple pics. Too bad I don't have all that many to post...anyway.
Okay...so maybe I will clarify on the title a little bit. Yeah, there's this guy. He's cool. Is that enough information? I think it is--for once I really don't want to talk about it!
*Sigh*
My mom bought this face mask stuff. I don't use it 'cause I'm one of these people who are all worried about their skin. The only reason I used it was 'cause it feels really cool when it dries. It felt weird, but it kinda hurt when I had to rip it off....

Share some stories, huh?

I didn't stay 'til Wednesday--which is good. So did anyone hear about the 18 tornados that ripped through Wisconsin on Thursday? One of them went through this tiny village in the southern part of the state. The community had damage on 80% of the buildings. The small place is known as Viola.
So I visited some relatives in Viola on Thursday....
Okay, so I arrived about an hour and a half after the actual tornado went through, but I saw a lot of the damange and it was horrid! No one died in the county though.
My Aunt Tatoo thought it would be "neat" to teach me how to play poker. Needless to say, I totally dominated in my first ever game. So if anyone's up for a game...LOL
Anyone who's ever slept in the same room as me knows I'm not a morning person. Poor Victim has even shared a bed with me on numerous occasions. I'm the kind of person who wakes up and throws their alarm clock across the room hoping it will land on the snooze button. For the past three days I've woken up with the phrase "Share your special feelings!" right in my face. I wanted to rip that stupid Care Bear up so badly!
My dad was going to buy me a new pair of shoes...I ended up with four. I am such a Converse Freak. I now own five different pairs. I even got a pair of white ones so I can draw on them and make them "custom." Sadly, all my shoes were on sale because they were children's sizes...I hate being all midget like sometimes.
What I really hate is when people make fun of my height by saying, "She doesn't even have to get on her knees...if you know what I mean!" The first time I heard that it was only funny because it was a girl who said it...now it's really disturbing.
Anyway, I'm really cold at the moment. My fingers are all stiff and I can't really type all that fast.
Did you know that in other places calling someone a douche is unheard of? Seriously, I called someone a douche bag infront of my cousin and she was like, "Whoa, I've never heard anyone ever call someone that! Is that a compliment?" Then I realized how often those two words are used in our school daily. Odd.

Leaving for the week...maybe

I recently found out that I'm not only going to visit my aunt for the weekend, but I may not return until Wednesday. Alas, I will not have access to a computer to post my nonsensical ramblings.
Last night I was scared out of my mind. My cat was attacked by something. I heard it fighting with something outside. My dad figured a fisher carried away the cat. Luckily, we found the cat, unharmed, this morning. Although, it does not like it's tail messed with and walks with a slight limp. I was very happy to see my little kitty was okay!
My mom called today and said that I have to miss the first day of school (blah). She scheduled
an appointment for me to see a neurologist (again). Even though it will only be the first day of school, I know I am bound to miss something important. I mean, since our school has the block system, the hour and a half classes might produce some sort of know-worthy knowledge.
Oh, and thanks to an anonymous senior, I am now scared of chemistry. Their logic is that because I'm two years younger than they are that I will have difficulties in the class because they did...not to mention that I'm taking it a year early. Ahhhhh!!!
I can't wait to hear my dad's grumblings about the current gas price: $2.75 a gallon.....that is seriously B.S. I mean, I'm nearing my 16th birthday--which signifies LICENSE!!! Of course, I probably will not drive too often because I will not be able to pay for the gas to fule my Barney Mobile. Hehe, I just love that my car is purple.
I have a very strong feeling that I spelled half the words above incorrectly. Don't ask me why, but I feel like I cannot spell today.

Calling all dorks, nerds, and losers...

Ahhh!!! I'm excited!!! The PPL (Philly Public Library) had a book sale today. I managed to control myself and only bought two new books. I've been marking down the days on my calendar 'cause I love the book sales. Qute sad, yes I know...
I had a crazy bad headache yesterday. Like, all day my head was throbbing. I told my mom about it and marked it on the calendar. I take this medication for headaches 'cause I get a ton of them. It's really not seeming to work anymore. My mom wants me taken off of it. She also wants me to get tests to see if I have a tumor...
In my opinion, I don't think I have a brain tumor. My doc. has run tests before and they all came back negative. I just really wish I was healthier and didn't get migranes and stuff all the time.
I'm fine now though! I am, once again, happy as can be! I'm actually going to remember to bring some CDs from my moms to my dad's so I can import them onto my iPod. I've managed to forget to do it for....oh, about a month now.
It sucks having my parents divorced--it splits up my music collection. Whenever I want to listen to a particular CD it's always in my other room.
I cleaned out my car (again) yesterday. Is it sad that I love my car so dearly, but I've never been able to drive it yet? I have Drivers' Education first block September 1st!!! Poor Mr. Zeman has me in TWO of his classes this year...he can barely stand me for 10 minutes of homeroom every day.
Hmmm...I think I may have to dance around my room like a complete bafoon.

Will this chaos never end?!?!

Anyone remember the great mood I was in yesterday? I do. Oh I'll miss it...
I gave up on Man-pretty because I didn't want to constantly feel like poo--I felt better and my thoughts were concentrated elsewhere for a change. Then we had this convo. last night. He brought it up out of nowhere. The conversation doesn't change anything--even if he would want me back I'd probably say no because he likes me, but he loves T&S. Oddly, I still feel like I want to get over him.....

I've been demoted to Lieutenant--and now a private!

Man-pretty demoted me from a Commander to a private. Don't ask me how or why--he just did.
Gosh, I'm in the best mood I've been in EVER! Seriously, I'm not really sure why, I'm just uber happy.
Eww...I just had some crazy bad chocolate! *shudder* Who would do such a thing to precious chocolate?
My hair looks really cute. Don't ask me why or how, but it looks uber cute.
Wow, maybe Grandpa Stick is right...maybe I do have ADD--look, a chicken!!!
Oh come on, who wouldn't look at a chicken?
Can't you just tell I'm in a good mood? I came up with more of my ever-so-wonderful story today. I wrote some of it down in my journal. Then I reread what I had written. I have come to the conclusion that I read way too much Stephen King.

Thanks for the suggestion of the R.E.M. I'm shopping again this weekend, so I'll look for a CD. I've actually had someone recomend them before, but I wanted to spite the person and never listened to what they said...his name is Madison (formerally He Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless). However, since someone cool has said that R.E.M. rock, I will give them a listen!

I'm not with Stupid

School shopping totally rocked. I was listening to some random CDs on the way to Wausau and I realized something: Man-pretty sucks. Yeah, you're all like, "Duh, how long did it take her to figure that out?!?!" Well, in my defense, I would like to say that I was biased--I know him too well.
I quit. I'm done caring for him "like that." I even bought a shirt to confirm it. On the front it says "I'm not with Stupid" (much like the post title) and on the back it says "we broke up." It rocks my dirty socks.
Hmmm, what else did I buy? A bought a $30 journal because I needed a new one. Think I'm nuts? Well I'm not...it had a sticker that said 85% off...which was fine by me. I had to buy two more Meat Loaf CDs 'cause he rocks. I'm finding that I prefer the older(ish) music. Then I went on a total whim and bought the CD that is said to have changed the outlook of the 90s. Well, according to Vh1 anyhow...they also said it's responsible for the current hype in music. Now you're wonderin' what CD could've caused all that? Nirvana's Nevermind. I'm glad I bought it, it's really good. It makes me want to completely trash my room....
This guy I'm talking to on my Yahoo! IM is totally trying to pick me up. I find it kinda hilarious because he's never seen me. This is actually the first time I've spoken to him. I guess it feels good to be hit on--slightly amusing though. Whenever I tell a guy I'm a dancer they all have the same reaction: "hmmmm...you must look good." I kinda try not to tell guys that I dance anymore. Well, I guess I'm exagerating, only a few guys have reacted like that. This guy is kinda goin' in excess though. He's actually said almost every pick-up line I've ever heard--except for my favorte. No one knows that one of course...except Man-pretty and He Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless...I think He Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless needs a new name 'cause that's really long....I should call him Madison since that "unforgetable" night happened (way back in April) in Wisconsin's capital.......anyway....we're no longer on that subject!
What was I saying....oh yeah, my favorite pick-up line: You must eat a lot of Lucky Charms 'cause you sure look magicly delicous to me. Don't ask me why I like it, but if a guy actually used it to get my attention I would laugh at him and listen to whatever else he had to say.
Anyway, I should actually write some of my blithering babble down in my diary. Unfortunately, I type faster then I write. Unless of course I write in speedwriting, then....well I still type faster.
Can you guys tell I'm in an uber good mood right now? I am. I think I need to run around my room dancing. Oh, for all of you girls on the dance team who read this stuff (which is like two of you since Dora's moving away [traitor]) you'd be amused to know I'm trying to make up a routine by myself...oh the joy!
I need something else to do with the 17 days I have left of summer. I'M OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS!!!
This year I plan on embracing the dork within. I bought yet ANOTHER sweater vest. I'm also addicted to Late Night With Conan O'Brien; I find myself counting down the hours until it is next on (2 hours and 38 minutes for all interested).
Yeah, I think I've said enough and left everyone reading this, which is probably just the one person (you know who you are).

I'm not fine

I went to Victim's house yesterday. Her mom picked me up and then we went to the store to get stuff for dinner. Victim and I were standing in the produce department looking at peppers when I turned around. What I saw was a tall guy wearing black pants, a poofy jacket that read "Copps IGA", and who had on a black headset. He was facing the other direction and walking with another guy.
My mind was quickly taken off the sight of the stranger by Victim squeaking a bag to make farting noises. By the time I turned back around he had been gone. She and I then headed over to the lunch meat section and proceeded to make fun of a package that said "Contains 30 wieners." I started singing a song, so we both started dancing crazily. The tall, dark haired stranger walked up to us and started dancing as well. Nothing was said, but after a few moments he turned and walked through the stock room doors.
Victim and I were then looking at packages of coke when he again approached us. We talked for a few minutes about nothing. Actually, he and myself conversed about his plans for this afternoon while Victim laughed like a loon. We then let him proceed with his work while we went to check out. He again, turned the corner and waved and Victim asked if he was stalking us.
Any guess to whom this stranger happens to be?
He is the guy that I talked to online last night for over an hour.
He is the guy I thought about all day after I saw him.
He is the guy I cried myself to sleep over last night.
He is the guy who has plagued my dreams since he asked to be friends.
But he is mainly the guy who I still care for.

I can't help but wonder if T&S loves the same things about him I do. I kept thinking about all the little things I've loved him for. When he drives he fingers the guitar tabs to whatever song happens to be blasting out the speakers. When he kissed me he couldn't keep his hands still; he could never decide to keep them on my waist or higher on my back. He whispers the lyrics to songs if people are present, but if he's alone he bellows them out--unless of course what he's listening to is The Darkness 'cause then he screeches out the lines and laughs at the dirty parts.
Those were just a few things I dreamt about last night. I just hope that T&S also sees these little things and can love him like I do.

Somehow Victim believes that when we have our ten year high school reunion I'm going to show up and be Mrs. Man-pretty. That's a long way off and a far-fetched dream.

"Run" by Snow Patrol

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we'll make it anywhere

Away from here

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower

We don't have time for that

All I want is to find an easier way

To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear

We're bound to be afraid

Even if it's just for a few days

Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

I love Snow Patrol's songs because they are like poetry. Even the way they sound on the CDs they sound like poems and not music. Plus they're lyrics are meaningful to me--not just this song but all of them.

I hate it when he's right

So last night I was talking to Man-pretty...like the title says: I hate it when he's right. He gave me A LOT of advice. I was really upset/depressed and he kept saying these really nice things.

Man-pretty says:
Well... I see you as a good person with a deep soul and you're afraid of showing it because you're afraid of what people might think. You're happy just being in the background, for now, but eventually you wanna strike out and make your mark on someone and you want it to be positive, but if you wait too long it might not be.
Man-pretty says:
Your in chains that you can easily slip out of

Then he told me to go streaking. He just thinks it's so hilarious that I went running around naked. I reminded him how close I had been to his house and he just seemed more amused. I realized that a lot of our conversations are exactly the way they were when we were dating. I've found that he is an awesome friend. I even told him I wasn't sure what I'd do with out him. Of course he had to bring up the fact that he graduates this year and as soon as he does he's leaving Wisconsin. Lucky!
I was at the Hot Topic website and they have shirts that say "I hate this town." Obviously, I want one really badly. I think our school should buy those and sell them instead of the stupid "Philly Loggers" shirts that they cannot sell.
Okay, so the school mailed out those information packet thingers the other day. I remember last year when they sent out letters and they had a picture of the school above the address and as a letter-head. No longer does the picture of the tiny building occupy either space. It is truly sad that our school has to alter the outgoing envelopes to save money. I wonder what the school will be like by the time I graduate. I predict we will no longer have the block system, the only sports we have will be football and basketball (possibly baseball), we'll have to pay massive fees for classes, and we'll be forced to pay feels for essential items such as text books and lockers.
It really is quite sad.

My dream lied...

So I found out everything is not okay. In my dream I was perfectly fine and normal! Yesterday morning I went to the store. When I went past the employee parking lot I saw Man-pretty's car. I wanted to go in, get my prescription, and leave as fast as possible. Too bad that my mom made me stay in there. I could not stand the fact that under the same roof--maybe the next asile over--Man-pretty was also present. I almost started crying, so my mom let me go home and she stayed and picked up what we needed.
Then, last night I was talking to him online. I said that I "saw" him at the store (lie, I never actually spotted him). He sounded disappointed that I didn't come up and annoy him. That was awkward and I'm not sure how to act to that one......
Oh, then of course he sent me this really sad/sweet forward that made me cry. It was about finding the perfect guy.
This guy that I kinda like (imagine, I have a crush on a guy!) just told me that he had a cancerous growth removed from his jaw :'( However, he is okay!!! I find it amusing that he kinda has the same name as Man-pretty. So for all of you who still don't know who I'm talking about--I will call him President Clinton. Hehe...aren't I clever? This has been the first time I've ever talked to him when he didn't call me weird. His sisters (both of them) think I'm insane.

An advice column?

I'm still sick. Mom's taking me to the doctor Monday. I've finally started eating again. I went over 72 hours without eating anything.
Maybe part of my throwing up and everything was psycological. Every time I would think about Man-pretty with T&S I would start to feel sick. Twice I actually 'chucked while talking to him about it. I mean, if any of you loved someone and you knew that they were trying to rekindle a relationship in which the other party had cheated on them, forced them into a suicidal depression, and ruined their outlook on relationships would you like thinking about it?
However, I feel better about it. My cure: I had a strange dream in which Man-pretty and I talked, hugged, and became comfortable with each other. He then picked me up so I'd be at eye-level and kissed my cheek. In the dream it was fine. I felt fine. I woke up and realized that there is no reason why I should be anything other then fine.
The next night I was again plagued with an odd dream. Man-pretty was convinced he and T&S were going to end up married--he would hear nothing else. He and I were playing Halo and I somehow managed to break through his dimentia. After that, Whelk Boy was in the dream. He came up behind me and was being really sweet. Actually, he was the guy I used to know--the one I used to consider my best friend.
So in the matter of two nights' dreams I believe I have come to terms with not one but two relationships. We'll see how it really goes.....
I've been seriously pondering my future lately. My first job is approaching rapidly and I find myself filling out the W-4 tax forms for it. I only work two days at the fair, but I still have to fill out close to 5 pages of forms.
Anyway...so here are my thoughts:
I've always secretly wanted to be a chef. I love cooking and I could spend hours watching cooking shows. Then of course there's the whole doctor thing. I've always pictured myself as a doctor--someone who finds "alternate" means of treatment. However, hear me out on this one....I rock at advice. Okay, so maybe some of my most recent pieces of advice have been slightly far-fetched, but still! I've given numerous people advice and have helped many (including Man-pretty). I should start a relationship advice column. Pink Piggy and I are going to actually try to spread the range of people who read The Sophomore Shame (formerally The Freshmen Times). Last year we had three readers. We hope to expand and actually pass out a few of the issues. Maybe I'll write one for that--considering I am one of the contributing editors....
Let me know what everyone thinks!!! Maybe for the first issue I'll use Peanuts' recent problem with Skater as a starting point!!! LOL, I'm all excited now. Do you see what you've made me do?
Oh, and guess what. My mom wants me to see a counselor. I'm starting to slip into depression. Don't let my exciting posts fool you...I'm like, really upset.

The hardest thing I've ever had to do

Last night I gave Man-pretty girl advice. He told me that he's in love with one of his ex-girlfriends. I told him what he should do to get her back. I told him how hard it was for me to tell him these things, but I'm glad I did. I want him to be happy, even if it's not with me. I still love him and I want to see him happy at any cost--even sacrificing my own feelings.
I'm talking to him now. I'm really sick right now. I have a fever and I can't eat. My mom was getting angry at me because I hadn't eaten in over a day, so I forced myself to. Now I feel like I'm gonna barf.
I can't put up with all these things. Man-pretty is great and he's giving this girl a THIRD chance. She even cheated on him while they were dating. I'm so scared that he's going to take my advice, tell her he loves her, they'll get back together, and she'll cheat on him again while she's at college. I don't want her to hurt him. I'm not sure what he would do if he was hurt by her again.