One wicked night or two *Edited Version*

I went to Winona with Peanuts and Anelram (my best friend from high school and my best friend from college...best of both worlds).
Peanuts introduced me to a guy she knew I would instantly find attractive. Needless to say, I pineappled Ron Burgundy.
I wasn't planning on drinking at the party. I hate drinking. It's just not my thing, but we were celebrating the end of the semester. Peanuts knew everyone there, and it was a lot of fun. But I like to dance and no one was dancing, so our small group just found a little section of basement and started dancing to the music. No bigs.
I pulled a dollar bill out of Ron Burgundy's boxers with my teeth.
And then the alcohol kicked in.
Peanuts disappeared, so it was just Anelram, Ron Burgundy, and myself. We just danced in a triangle. Somehow we were all over eachother just dancing and singing like we were the best of friends.
Ron Burgundy was so drunk, and Anelram was tipsy. I pecked Anelram on the lips just as a joke, and Ron Burgundy said he wanted some, so I did the same to him. I later on found out that he was talking to Anelram.

I was having so much fun. Ron Burgundy's attractiveness was just making things so much better. He was very nice, and I understood why Peanuts wanted me to meet him. I'm sure he was the only reason I was upright most of the night. Leaning against him helped, and he always danced low so that we were closer in height. I love it when people do that for me.

And then he was gone. I was all by myself in the basement of this house. I was content just sitting on the floor watching the beer-pong tourny. These 3 guys came up and started talking to me. They were very nice, but I crawled away to find the others.
I went to the second floor and found Peanuts sleeping. Then I saw Anelram and Ron Burgundy come out of the bathroom together...which lead me to start asking awkward questions. We were making our way downstairs when the 3 guys came back and started harrassing me. By then I had no clue what was going on, but they started saying that they all had girlfriends and that I shouldn't flirt with them, but I had barely talked to them and it had been mostly about how happy we were that the semester was over. I was confused, but Ron Burgundy took my hand and we were dancing again. We were passing the apple pie back and forth just sniffing the way it smelled like cinnamon and tasted like apple juice. Then someone threw up and Ron Burgundy and I were trying to get around to go back upstairs. Someone was in the bathroom throwing up and I recognized it as a girl I had met earlier in the night, so I went in and tried to take care of her. Something told me that I had puke on me, so I spent a lot of time washing any exposed skin. And then we were leaving. Sober Man made sure we were all secured into the car and we were on our way. Somehow Ron Burgundy and I were having a full-on conversation in German (apparently my German is better when I'm drunk...I may not remember genders, but for some reason I can formulate sentences really well :P)
Then he started speaking Chinese and I was lost. I haven't met many people who can speak Chinese, but apparently he can. When we got back to the dorm I was really confused because we were on the third floor, but I knew Peanuts didn't live on the third floor. Apparently the decision of me sleeping in Ron Burgundy's room was made without my knowledge. Somehow my bag of stuff was already in his room, so I changed into my pajamas, but it took me forever to find out how to put my pants on. And then Anelram was there too. And Ron Burgundy wasn't wearing any clothes besides boxers. So we all cudled on the little bed and attempted to watch Anchorman. Anelram climbed up on the top bed to go to sleep and Ron Burgundy followed her. I didn't like being alone. I was so angry. I started talking about pineapples so Anelram would get the hint, but she never got up. I got up and left. I was walking down the hallway trying to find somewhere to go. I sat on the floor and waited for Anelram to come find me so I could yell at her. But no one came.
I started to fall asleep in the hallway, but then Ron Burgundy was there pulling me up. Still in his boxers. He said something about Anelram, and I got the idea. He put me back in the lower bunk and climbed back on the top.
And then I had a tantrum.
I threw myself on the floor (which is probably why my back is killing me) and started bad-mouthing myself. So he put me back in the bed and stood next to me promising that in the morning he would make me oatmeal. He stayed next to the bed for a really long time, but finally he kissed me cheek and went back up to where Anelram was passed out. I fell asleep for roughly an hour. I woke up sobbing because I had a nightmare. To add to it, I was still incredibly drunk and couldn't remember where I was. Anelram popped her head over mine, and then I started screaming how much I hated her. She came down (closely followed by Ron Burgundy) and sat with me while I cried over my nightmare. Then we started a new movie and Anelram went to bed again. I kept complaining about how bad I smelled, so Ron Burgundy gave me some Axe deoderant to use. I don't remember why, but Ron Burgundy kept pulling down his boxers to show me his buttcrack. He climbed back up with Anelram and I bitched about having to sleep by myself. We went to bed at around 6:00am. I woke up and I felt perfect (with the exception of my back). No hangover, which was very surprising. Ron Burgundy, on the other hand, was not as lucky. Anelram was somewhere, and Ron Burgundy and I were just sitting having a conversation. Then I asked the million dollar question: "Do you remember my name?"
He still couldn't get my name right. But at least calling me Marie was closer than Marlena...which he had been calling me earlier. We kept joking around about things that had happened at the party. He appeared very embarrassed over many things (like showing me his buttcrack). It was fun again. Anelram just sat there while we talked for the most part. And FINALLY, he put on a pair of pants.
And then we left.
Anelram, Peanuts, and I talked.

Anelram told me that earlier in the night Ron Burgundy asked if they could fool around, and she told him no because I pineappled him. He was angry because I wasn't the one he would have picked.
Looking back at it sober I don't know how I didn't realize that Ron Burgundy wasn't into me but rather Anelram.

Something along these same lines happened about a month into the school year. I met this guy named Kyle, and I thought he was very nice. But he went for Anelram instead.

When we were at the party I thought he was actually interested in me but no. I was wrong.
I had also thought Kyle might have liked me a little when I first met him, but I was wrong there too.

Always wrong.

It appears that every girl I talk to has some sort of boy options. I have none.
For a while I was happy about it. Nothing to make me sad. But now I am sad for that very reason.
I hate it.
Is it wrong of me to want male attention? I honestly can't tell you the last time I was flirted with. Well...maybe with Aeropostale before we started dating...like two years ago.

Depressing.

I think I need uglier friends.
And it probably doesn't help that the only guys I hang around with are man-sluts who are always surrounded by pretty girls.