I'm still sick. Mom's taking me to the doctor Monday. I've finally started eating again. I went over 72 hours without eating anything.
Maybe part of my throwing up and everything was psycological. Every time I would think about Man-pretty with T&S I would start to feel sick. Twice I actually 'chucked while talking to him about it. I mean, if any of you loved someone and you knew that they were trying to rekindle a relationship in which the other party had cheated on them, forced them into a suicidal depression, and ruined their outlook on relationships would you like thinking about it?
However, I feel better about it. My cure: I had a strange dream in which Man-pretty and I talked, hugged, and became comfortable with each other. He then picked me up so I'd be at eye-level and kissed my cheek. In the dream it was fine. I felt fine. I woke up and realized that there is no reason why I should be anything other then fine.
The next night I was again plagued with an odd dream. Man-pretty was convinced he and T&S were going to end up married--he would hear nothing else. He and I were playing Halo and I somehow managed to break through his dimentia. After that, Whelk Boy was in the dream. He came up behind me and was being really sweet. Actually, he was the guy I used to know--the one I used to consider my best friend.
So in the matter of two nights' dreams I believe I have come to terms with not one but two relationships. We'll see how it really goes.....
I've been seriously pondering my future lately. My first job is approaching rapidly and I find myself filling out the W-4 tax forms for it. I only work two days at the fair, but I still have to fill out close to 5 pages of forms.
Anyway...so here are my thoughts:
I've always secretly wanted to be a chef. I love cooking and I could spend hours watching cooking shows. Then of course there's the whole doctor thing. I've always pictured myself as a doctor--someone who finds "alternate" means of treatment. However, hear me out on this one....I rock at advice. Okay, so maybe some of my most recent pieces of advice have been slightly far-fetched, but still! I've given numerous people advice and have helped many (including Man-pretty). I should start a relationship advice column. Pink Piggy and I are going to actually try to spread the range of people who read The Sophomore Shame (formerally The Freshmen Times). Last year we had three readers. We hope to expand and actually pass out a few of the issues. Maybe I'll write one for that--considering I am one of the contributing editors....
Let me know what everyone thinks!!! Maybe for the first issue I'll use Peanuts' recent problem with Skater as a starting point!!! LOL, I'm all excited now. Do you see what you've made me do?
Oh, and guess what. My mom wants me to see a counselor. I'm starting to slip into depression. Don't let my exciting posts fool you...I'm like, really upset.