I'm not stupid, it's broken

I worked 40 hours this week. No joke...that's like full-time.
Then again, I work 4 1/2 hours this coming week, but school starts.

Okay, so my stupid stories start with last night. Maria, Pink Piggy, and I were working one side of the entrance and that one guy, Pink Piggy's sister, and the other guy were working the other side. Well, somehow we found out the other guy can't count money. I felt bad for him 'cause he was then dubbed "wrist-bander."

Maria and I were talking when this car started approaching the turn uber slowly. No joke. As the car was comin' up to us at moch-turtle, I asked her if she thought it was a little old lady or man.
Imagine my surprise when the car pulled up and HWSFRN was driving it. I laughed so freaking hard that I couldn't even get my insult out properly.

After my shift Marenisco and I walked around for an hour and a half. I saw HWSFRN and talked to him a bit while Marenisco went off on her cellphone.
Okay, so I do this thing where if I find something I don't want I put it in someone else's pocket. I used to put pennies in Man-pretty's pocket when I got change and I know I've put gum wrappers in Beaver's pockets before.
So I found something in my purse I didn't want...so my natural reaction was to reach over and stuff it in HWSFRN's pants pocket. He didn't even say anything until my hand was at the bottom. Then of course he freaked out on me and said I was nuts.
It was an accident! It's not like I was scheming to get all up in his pants!

I guess Marenisco was multi-tasking while she was on the phone 'cause afterwards she was able to tell me how many times HWSFRN called me a whore during our short convo.

Then there was this OLD carnie dude. He actually reached out and started playing with my hair. Too much! Then every time I walked past his game thing he said "There's my cute little red head."
When I went back this morning he said that every time he saw me I got even more beautiful.
After that I tried not to go past his booth anymore.
Then again, I think everyone has problems with at least one carnie folk.

One of the rides broke. The cable holding all the carts on the ride snapped and they couldn't get everyone off right away. I guess they had to get people off according to weight distribution so none of the carts would tip. It took them 20 minutes (so I was told) to get the last cart off and the girl was hysterical.

Pink Piggy and I went on the same ride after my shift. I got off 15 minutes early, so I ran in for one last ride. It's called the Rock -o- Plane or something of the sort. Basically, it's a ferris wheel with enclosed carts that you can spin. Pink Piggy and I couldn't figure out how to spin the stupid thing. We were trying to rock it and pull the break, but nothing was happening. It sucked.
We just started screaming like it was actually doing something.
Screaming doesn't work when you're laughing.
Pink Piggy said something about being stupid and I just popped out with "We're not stupid, it's broken."
After we gave up on the whole spinning deal we discussed it and "I'm not stupid, it's broken" is our new phrase. Just 'cause she and I do some really stupid things.

When the ride stopped we finally were able to gather enough momentum to rock it ever-so-slightly.

Her mom was down below laughing her head off.

I've missed Pink Piggy so much over the summer. She's one of my best friends and I saw her like twice this summer. She turns 16 on Thursday...or Wednesday. To be honest with you, I can never remember if her birthday is the 30th or the 31st....I just always bring her presents on the first day of school.
Seriously, it's a tradition...haul massive amounts of notebooks, a few pencils, pens, calculator, and Pink Piggy's birthday present.

Don't have a nice day

There was a lady who REFUSED to go through my line at work. There was this huge line for Pat's register, but she refused to move her crap 3 feet to my counter space.
Pat said something and her response was "I'm fine here." Then she gave me this insanely dirty look like I had offended her by being alive.
Kinda like the saying "If looks could kill..."
I couldn't believe it. My mom said something along the lines of "Some people just hate teenagers."
It's not like I was going to jump over the counter and jack her where she stood...I would get blood all over my smock.

That's another thing...some genius decided to put the knife display next to the register. That's a robbery waiting to happen.

I dyed my hair (not perminantly) bright red. It's kinda like the same shade of my glasses frames.

So HWSFRN freaked me out the other day by referring to RF as "Saxmaster"...I was a loser and misread it...I bet you can guess what I thought it said.
We were talking about forensics and I realized I'm not the only one pumped for the upcoming season. I love reminiscing about last season....like when we had to stand up infront of the school for the farewell to state and HWSFRN had to say he read poetry. He had a fit afterwards 'cause he figured the whole school thought he was a woman.
I'm going to make posters to do some recruits.
*JOIN FORENSICS PEOPLE!!!*
Seriously, we need more people...we lost our Extemporaneous Speaker due to graduation. We tried to convince him to fail a few classes but he wasn't havin' it.
The Roses and HWSFRN hold down the poetry.
Steal was in poetry, but she didn't advance to Madison.
Pink Piggy was in play-acting freshman year, but this past year I tricked her into solo-acting with me. I don't think she'll try that one again....I can see her doing prose...I really can.
I pretty much have the solo-acting front covered. Except Random Freshman needs to get all up in it 'cause I know he would rock that category up.
I swear solo acters have a specific personality. No joke. Throw eight solo acters who don't know eachother into a room and we'll get the party started.
No joke.
Beaver was almost in forensics...except his grouping kinda pooched it.

So that makes four veterans, probably Steal...and maybe a few freshman if we're lucky.

Beaver, if you don't join I'm coming after you.
Random Freshman, if you don't join He Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless is coming after you. *but HWSFRN fights like a woman*

...I have to work on getting Betty to join.
*sigh* I heartheth Betty and his homeless appearance.

I work my first 12 hour day Saturday. I work 7 1/2 hours at the Dollar and then 4 1/2 hours at the fair. That is going to suck hardcore donkey. No joke.
I have two jobs this week...I work every day except yesterday. Does anyone remember when I didn't have a job. Seems so long ago.

Holy poo

Needless to say, I was in a crap-tastic mood last night.
Thank you Beaver, Man-pretty, and Face Paint for the sweet comments.

Yeah, so after I posted that, Sister-Sister IMed me saying how awesome I was. Another thank you is in order.
I talked to Man-pretty and that made me feel better. He always seems to do that.

The little "HWSFRN has signed in" pop-up came up. I haven't talked to him since May. It was a miracle we didn't get into some sort of fight. He called me a midget, but on the plus side, he didn't call me a whore. Yay!

While I was at Victim's house we were roasting/taffi...ing marshamallows. I got white stuff all over my face and her mom had to make a joke over it.

So Beaver bought more stripped shirts. Beavs, please tell me you'll keep your new clothes free from white splatters. ;)

I told Sister-Sister about this picture I took, but my computer wouldn't let me send it to him....so I'll post it.

I took it on the band/choir trip. I love it...let me explain. The center of the photo, in all its glory, is Sister-Sister's 'fro. It looks like Can't Dance (tan jacket) and HWSFRN (red shirt) are just staring up at it. Okay, so maybe other people don't find it funny, but I do. Plus he's on a giant turtle. What could be better?




















It's pretty much Man-pretty's last night in this place. He leaves tomorrow for Milwaukee and then to San Antonio (or am I mistaken...?)
He went from being the tuba player who marched next to me in the field show...to being a guy I completely had the hots for....to my best boyfriend so far....to the world's best ex-boyfriend...and through all of it he's managed to become one of the best friends I've ever had.
I can't even fathom how much I'm going to miss him.

Why am I jealous?

Last year at camp I met this guy. I thought he liked me, and at the end of the week he asked me for my phone number and address. He was a really nice guy, so I obliged.
I never heard from him.
This year at camp, I saw him again and we hung out a little. We even had a "party" in the nurse's cabin.
At the end of the week he again asked me for my addy and phone number...he also asked for Victim's (she came with this year).

So far he's written her two letters and called her twice.
I haven't even heard from him once.

So last night we were talking to this guy on her friends list. I talked to him a bit and she would talk to him. He decided he didn't want to talk to me anymore because he imagined Victim would be "hotter."

Stop Drop and Roll was also there, but she wasn't talking to the guy. I got kinda mad and went to sit out in the living room.
Later on, one of them said SD&R has a nice butt and Victim has nice boobs. I just stared and waited to her what my good quality was....no response. So I asked. I wish I wouldn't've. Seriously.
Victim's response word for word "You've got *pause* a good personality."

Should I feel bad? Because I do. I mean, "personality" everyone's got one and mine's no better than anyone else's.
The fact she paused hurts. She's one of my best friends, but she couldn't even lie to make up a quality.

I feel horrible because I'm tired of her always being the pretty one. The one who has 80 million guys' phone numbers programmed into her cellphone.

It gets worse, I promise.
Victim let me listen to the voicemail the camp boy left for her...twice.

So we started talking about guys...ex-boyfriends and crushes and whatnot. We were all laying in bed talking, and I was the only one not dying for sleep.
I started talking about Random Freshman and all that crap. I knew both girls had fallen asleep while I was still talking, but for some reason I just kept talking. Eventually, I ended up busting a tear and cried myself to sleep.

This morning we went into town for something...can't really remember...
Victim's mom pulled up to park and I just started screaming "MAN-PRETTY"...well, only I was screaming his real name. We kinda bombarded him. Good times. So that'll probably be the last time I see him for a long time.

On the plus side, I had one of my creepy dreams last night. Okay, so there was this guy in both my biology classes this past year. I've talked about him before, and a few of you probably know who I'm talking about. He's the dumbest person I know. No joke. He would always turn around to ask me stupid questions during class.
Like the air turtle one. "If there's such thing as a sea turtle, why isn't there such thing as an air turtle? Wait. Do turtles fly?"
This guy is seriously that dim.
Anyway...I keep having awkward dreams about him. No, not awkward like THAT. In the dream he follows me, but he's really nice and not so odd...and not wearing sleeveless flannels. *shudder*
For some reason, in the dream we were dressed very nicely and he kept trying to hold my hand. Then these ninjas jumped out and he went Chuck Norris on them...depsite the fact he thinks Chuck Norris is one of the Ninja Turtles.

Uggghh, why am I even dreaming of him? I saw him the other day, but he didn't recognize me at first because I had "weird things on my face" (my glasses).

I was going to post some lyrics, but my computer's bein' stupid.

Lemons squeezed.

No, it's not hacking.

Chances are, if you're one of my friends and I want to know your schedule, I broke into your school account last night.

I was bored. I managed to get into quite a few people's...I still only found one person in my Pre-Calc class (My Favorite Blonde) and one person in my German class (Madam Scrapbook).

I also found that Pink Piggy has Law Related with HWSFRN, Ju Freaking Woolf has US History II with HWSFRN, Victim has aquatics with Peanuts.

I'm sorry, but about 80% of the people's acounts have a username of the student's last name and their password being their first name. Try it some time.

I spent all day on the phone. No joke. I called Pink Piggy and talked to her for two hours. It was hilarous...just talking about the next two years and the past eleven.
Then I called Peanuts. I guess Sister-Sister was kinda waiting for her when I called...so Sister-Sister, I am very sorry she kept you waiting.

I guess Peanuts' little sister really likes me because I gave her a nickname. She is known as Cashew because she isn't quite nutty enough yet. Almost.
Peanuts is one of the few people who actually play along with my game and use my assigned nicknames in real life. However, I do love it when I say ***** and people ask "Man-pretty or Shop Buddy?" Makes me happy to know the nonsense is spreading.

My fingers are freezing. I can't type!!! I can feel winter comin' fast. Score. I heart winter. Very romantic time, in my opinion. Yeah, Peanuts also said she's going to work on hooking me up (we'll see)...then of course I had to make some jokes about my list of reasons why I am still single. (An actual, physical, list with the input of a middle-age teacher)

Exactly how messed *disfigured penis* up am I?

So toward the end of the school year I *disfigured penis* was reading a book about a *disfigured penis* man by the name of Walter Richard Sickert. He's currently believed to be the "most likely" suspect *disfigured penis* of being Jack the Ripper.
Because of a few things I *disfigured penis* will leave out, I had to put the book on hold. I recently *disfigured penis* picked it back up and finished it.

The book had detailed descriptions of *disfigured penis* the White Chapel Murders including pictures of the *disfigured penis* mutilated bodies.

I felt odd due to the fact *disfigured penis* I didn't feel disgusted until the very last *disfigured penis* page of the book.
Apparently, at the funeral of his second wife, Walter Sickert picked up his deceased wife's *disfigured penis* ashes, and proceeded to throw them into the *disfigured penis* wind so they scattered across the faces of the grieving family and friends.

Apparently, I can handle *disfigured penis* mutilations and all that crap, but ashes in someone's face bothers me.

Okay, chances are the only one who understood that entire joke was Beaver...and possibly Ju Freaking Wolf, but she doesn't read my blogeth.

Back to something that actually makes sense...and that I didn't pull from a donkey's nostril.

Ian Rankin is the best author in the world...okay...well...you know what I mean. I love his books, but for some reason I can't remember which ones were about what. Seriously, I look at the titles and KNOW I read the book, but I cannot, for the life of me, remember what the plot was. Most of the time, it involved a postitute...or a sex scandal...
I've never read any of Ian Rankin's non-Inspector Rebus novels.
Rebus is the best character in the world.

Read them.

They're good.

I'm so glad my job is interesting

Seriously, it is.
I love when my friends come in and do stupid stuff. Like last night, My Favorite Blonde's mom whipped a basket at MFB. I couldn't stop laughing.

For some reason today was hilarious.
Things kept going wrong, but they ended up fixing themselves...so that was cool.

This slightly over middle-age guy called me "honeybuns."
An old man poked me with his cane. No, I don't mean he accidentally nudged me with it...he picked it off the ground and stabbed me in the shoulder with it.
There's a couple that's been comin' in quite a bit in the past week or so...they're amusing. The lady asked if we had socks and came to the register with the socks, tampons, and a pregnancy test.
Her husband FREAKED out. He gave me too much information. Like he had no clue she might be preggers until he saw the "shaker with lines." (an amusing name for pregnancy test)
Then he leaned across the counter and whispered that they were already in the double digits kid-wise and didn't need any more.


Wow.

If I was a 15-18 year old guy I wouldn't like me either

Seriously, I wouldn't.

Did anyone else catch the whole Franz Ferdinand "Do You Want To?" on the shampoo commercial? I forget which one.

Nobody loves a gnome

Okay, so I would post some song lyrics, but I don't want to...so I'll just describe the song.

The song starts out by the dude saying that in all the chaos of his world the only light is this chick.
He really likes her and crap.

The chorus comes and he says that she's playing a "Wicked Game" (name of the song) because she forced him to dream of her and to care for her so much.
She's not interested in him--at all.
He thought she was and claims that she's a douchebag for making him think she too cared for him.
Throughout the song the dude keeps saying "No, I don't want to fall in love" and in the background you hear "This world is only gonna break your heart." Then "No, I don't want to fall in love...with you."

Then at the end of the song the dude says "Nobody loves no one."
However, I seriously think it sounds like he's saying "Nobody loves a gnome."

Was that a llama?

So I posted the other day, but my computer decided not to work with me on the whole scheme of things. The post wasn't even saved!

Basically I just went off on my weird dream about RF (no, not "weird" like that, Beaver!) and the image of HWSFRN without pants.

Okay, so Beavs was informing me on BS camp or w/e...then he just went off to say something about He Who Shall Forever Remain Nameless not being able to screech while dancing around in a loincloth.
Whoa.
BAD IMAGES BURNED INTO MY MIND'S EYE!!!

It's bad enough I had to see him stretching while wearing spandex-like pants.
Or the boxer situation on the elevator in Madison.

Anyway..........

I think I saw a llama in the woods. I was starin' out the window an I swear I saw a llama shaped thing standing next to a tree.
No joke.

I think I'm going nuts.