Calculus is a joke

Calculus feels like it is 4 hours long. Every day! I feel like I understand what's going on, and then when I do the homework I can only do half the problems.

Go figure that I only had 3/10 problems on the homework quiz today. Suck.

Class is kinda funny, though. Mr. Duerr is so awkward. Sometimes he'll be like, "Back in my day..." or occasionally "Back in the day..."

Seriously...if he shaved his little chin hair thing he would look 15.

Then today...omg. It was so funny. He's one of those people who when they talk they have really badly timed pauses.

Like when he said, "When I was taking calculus I drank a lot--------of coffee."
And then he went on with something like, "and I had little baggies full------------of cocoa beans."

Then there is his "best friend"...that was so hilarious. He was telling us about one of his professors that he used to hang out with and go to math conferences with.
J-Rod asked if they partied it up.

His respons: "No...well, there was one time."

Mr. Duerr makes me giggle.

Hurt

No nicknames.

Craig broke up with me. I don't know what to do.

I went on to Facebook last night and it said, "Craig has changed his status to single."

What the hell? He never even said anything. I left an angry message on his voicemail.

He called back and said he didn't know what I was talking about. So I said, "I was so scared. So You're not breaking up with me?"

Then he said..."Well...no"

Me..."Do you want to?"

Him..."Kinda."

So started the 2 hour break up. The entire time I was bawling and telling him the most romantic things. I told him how much he meant to me, how I don't want to lose him. Everything.

What I really don't understand is that he told me he still loves me. If he loves me, and I love him, then why isn't that enough?
He said it's not fair being so far apart. He does't know when he'll come home next and I'm not allowed to visit him.

So he and his friend Nick decided he would break up with me.

After all that I just asked him if I'd changed his mind even a little bit. I didn't. Then he told me that he still wants to be friends and I can still call him whenever I want to.

I don't know what to do. I just lost one of the greatest people in my life. He said he loves me. Then why aren't we together? I'm not scared of being along--I'm scared of being without him. The thought of never being in his arms again...or never kissing him just scares me so much.

I love him so much. I can't believe I messed up the greatest thing in my life.

Haven't posted in forever

I've been far too busy putting things off. Like college applications. If I apply to ONE place I'd feel a sense of accomplishment. But I can't do it.

Oh well. That is for another time.

This quarter is almost over. I'm not finished with my AP English yet. I am really quite far on it, though. Peanuts and I are getting together tomorrow to work on it overload style.

This has been my easiest quarter and I've still been scrambling around to get everything done. I'm honestly not sure how I'll make it through the next 3 quarters.

This quarter I had...
U.S. History II
Medical Terminology
Advanced Anatomy & Physiology
Band
German III
Computer Skills III

Next quarter I have...
AP English
Medical Terminology
Advanced Anatomy & Physiology
Band
German III
AP Calculus

I am SOOOO glad I took AP Chemistry last year. No joke.

I'm scared for calculus. The new teacher, Mr. Duerr, is not the greatest teacher from what I hear. I've talked to people who said they burst into tears in the middle of class because of him. The most common things I've heard about him are that he'll give out a test and then afterwards he'll teach the material. And that he also hates when people ask questions...apparently he gets upset.

One of my friends had calculus last year with Mr. Rew, and then this year he took Advanced Statistics with Mr. Duerr. Advanced Statistics is commonly known as an easy class.
Yeah, this guy who took calc. last year was struggling through stats.

Mrs. Pippenger already told me she'd help me as much as she can. Quite a few people have already dropped the class.

Uggghh. I'm scared.