No nicknames.
Craig broke up with me. I don't know what to do.
I went on to Facebook last night and it said, "Craig has changed his status to single."
What the hell? He never even said anything. I left an angry message on his voicemail.
He called back and said he didn't know what I was talking about. So I said, "I was so scared. So You're not breaking up with me?"
Then he said..."Well...no"
Me..."Do you want to?"
Him..."Kinda."
So started the 2 hour break up. The entire time I was bawling and telling him the most romantic things. I told him how much he meant to me, how I don't want to lose him. Everything.
What I really don't understand is that he told me he still loves me. If he loves me, and I love him, then why isn't that enough?
He said it's not fair being so far apart. He does't know when he'll come home next and I'm not allowed to visit him.
So he and his friend Nick decided he would break up with me.
After all that I just asked him if I'd changed his mind even a little bit. I didn't. Then he told me that he still wants to be friends and I can still call him whenever I want to.
I don't know what to do. I just lost one of the greatest people in my life. He said he loves me. Then why aren't we together? I'm not scared of being along--I'm scared of being without him. The thought of never being in his arms again...or never kissing him just scares me so much.
I love him so much. I can't believe I messed up the greatest thing in my life.
3 comments:
Oh, Lemons. Oh, dear. I know that I can say I know what it's like and that everything will be ok, but that is trite. You don't feel ok, and my words would scarcely be enough to reverse that. All I can do, I guess, is remind you of something you told me a few years ago: "a broken heart still beats."
Shit Lemons, you know you didn't screw this up. Sometimes its like nothing can mend a broken heart, i learned that first hand. He could come around, maybe he wont. At least you still have us. Its nice to have some constant friends, you know?
oh my god, what an asshole! He didn't even have the balls to break up with you to your face? Poor girl. You are so much better than him, and someday when you're rich and successful, you'll see him begging on the street for pennies.
I'm so sorry though; you deserve better than that, and please don't think you did anything wrong. Obviously, he's got his head up his arse not to see what a gem he has in you.
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