Man-pretty had his glasses on today. I was in complete awe. I literally spent 50 minutes of band staring at him. It was just like wow. He had on a red scarf (it was uber cold in the bandroom today. The shop must not have been running or something), glasses, and his hair was all pushed over. Every time his hair gets to the perfect length (that it is currently at), he chops it all off. I love it just the way it is.
We talked last night for over two hours.
Crap. That song, "Goodbye My Lover," that I posted the lyrics to last night just came on. Go figure.
When he's not around, I get immensely sad. He'll just pop up or come online and we'll talk about how unhappy we both are (oh what an interesting convo. that one was). He'll change the subject and make me laugh hysterically. Everything works out to where I'm happy until he leaves again.
I see him and I miss him. I lay in bed at night and imagine if he'll ever kiss me again. Part of me still actually believes we'll have one last go before he leaves. Then of course the sensible part of me kicks in and says that it won't happen.
It actually makes me sad to think of myself dating someone else. I have been trying to notice other guys (particularily the ones in my lifeguard training class), but every time I imagine myself holding hands with any of them my mind flashes back to some memory I have of holding hands with Man-pretty. I'll get this odd feeling--kinda like the feeling you get when your hands are icey cold and you run them under hot water and they warm up all nice like--anyway, I get that feeling throught my entire body, and I feel so happily nervous like I was when the memories were actually the present and not the past. I get this feeling from REMEMBERING. I cannot even begin to fathom what would happen to me in the case of de-ja-vu.
I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens. We're hanging out Friday, so that should be quite fun.
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1 comment:
oh, boy...
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