"We'll never be as young as we are right now." --Jim Steinman

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

MySpace bulletin from my cousin

Posted from a California Punk:
CALIFORNIA:
- I can wear sandals all year long
- I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore"
-Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang.
- I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often
- I know what real cheese & avocados taste like
-Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal
-We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down.
-I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's!
-All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is
- I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear
- I know 65 mph really means 100
- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and high speed chase cuz we dont fuck around on the road
- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border)
- My governor can kick your governors ass
- I can go out at midnight
-You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code
- I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD
- We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "california roll"No cop no stop baby!
- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day
- All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here
- We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese State. Not the Garden State.....GOLDEN!!!
- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them)
- I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more than yours, which means I'm better than you [geez.... hahaha]
- The best athletes come from here

*******IF YOU'RE FROM CALIFORNIA, REPOST THIS*************IF YOU'RE NOT, GO SIT IN A CORNER AND CRY******

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WISCO BOY
Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought I would reply...
Hey... California listen up... you're not quite as hot as you say.
- I too can wear sandals all year long... plus If it gets reeeeally cold, I can put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick out.
- You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the "shore". whoopty doo. Wisconsin has more shoreline than your entire state. Actually, more shoreline than the east and west coasts together. What now cali boy?
- You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline, botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and they can beat yours up. More natural models come from WI than CA. dont believe me? ask Maxim.
- We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy" and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized right away anywhere in the world :) We're famous. And not becuase of that fake ass "bro-ho" "so-cal" shit that yall think makes you "Famous", fuckers. I said howdy one time on the east coast, i got an ENTIRE cheerleading team wanting to take a picture of me in my jeans and boots. suck on that.
- And cheese? "Happy cows, make happy cheese, happy cows come from California." Bullshit. We pretty much INVENTED cheese.
- 40 deep? we have a word for that down in the north. "pussies"
- We call them Americans when they're American. Not because we have no clue how to do manual labor and need them to keep our ostentatious lives rolling smoothly. unlike.. *cough *cough,.. some people i know about.- Ok, you make all the porn. I'll give that to ya. California is better at takin it in the ass than Wisco is. congrats on that.
- Why would you brag about not getting snow days off?
- We're smart enought to know 65mph means 65, but our speed limit is 70.
- When someone cuts me off, they get run over by my big ass truck, then I give them the finger and tell them to go back to california.
- The drinking age is 21, but if you aren't chasin the beer by 10 yrs old... you're behind.
- Yeah, you elected a foreign descent, steroid abusing, party hopping, hollywood actor to office. just shut up and think about that.
- You can go out at midnight? Thats nice, I haven't even come home by then.
- Ok... you said,"You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code" and as hard as I try I have no idea what you're talking about... I think you're watching too much tv.
- Yeah, you'll definitely get looked at funny when you come to visit but we have another name for you pretty boys, and its not greek, its french.
- Of course you don't stop at stop signs... none of you can drive.
- You can pick up Real mexican food 24 hours a day huh... well I can swing by home depot and pick up 24 Real mexicans anytime of day. Can you say catering?
- All the tv shows get filmed there... and you pay 5000 dollars per day to rent a "real" ranch when you can freakin buy one in WI for that price... real smart.
- You can keep your golden state. too bad all the gold got mined out back in the 1800s and now you have so much smog, you cant even find you own spray-on-tanned asses.
- An In-N-What!? apparently. you Calis are real proud of your Fast Food Resturants.
whatever I could go on and on,.. bringing up so many pertinent facts,. but i dont think california is worth it.

IF YOU'RE FROM WI AND PROUD RE POST as "FUCK YOU WE'RE FROM WISCONSIN''

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